Not to Assume

I need to stop assuming. Anything.

To assume is to accept that something is true without checking or confirming it.

I'll give you recent examples of my own wrong assumptions.

Recently, a local friend and author held a book signing and Q&A at a large Barnes and Noble about thirty minutes away. After a long and tiring work week, I felt confident that my husband would prefer to stay home, have a nice dinner, and relax. He’s not a book reader and he’s never met the author. So, I didn’t even bring it up. Because I assumed he’d not want to go.

Later, when I mentioned it, he hinted that he would have gone with me—had I asked.

My health-conscious daughter and her boyfriend were coming over for dinner. I mentioned to my husband that she’d requested hummus with raw veggies to munch on before the meal.

“What’s hummus?”

He was unaware that a small container with hummus—made with mashed chickpeas, oil, lemon juice, and garlic—had been in the refrigerator for several days. (No, I didn’t make it myself!) But, I’d never offered it to him because I assumed he wouldn’t like it.

Whether he’d like it or not, he wanted the opportunity to try it, or at least say, “no thanks.”

After having breakfast with a friend at a new restaurant near our home, I raved about the food to my husband. So when he took a vacation day, we decided the night before that we’d treat ourselves and go out for a scrumptious and leisurely breakfast. I assumed the place would be open the same hours on weekdays. You can imagine our disappointment when we pulled into the empty parking lot. The restaurant wasn’t open until lunch.

We’re tempted to assume all kinds of things as we go through our lives.

Someone will clean up the mess I leave behind.

The grandparents will be free to babysit on Saturday night.

Certainly the other child is to blame. Mine couldn’t be at fault.

A person doesn’t acknowledge my hello, so she not only doesn’t like me—she’s a snob.

And how about this one . . .

Terrorists created the 911 tragedy. Because those who were involved in that devastating event were Moslems, some Americans assume that all Moslems are bad, hateful people.

What if . . .

Someone doesn’t clean up my mess?

The grandparents have plans for the weekend?

My child instigated the fight?

The woman isn’t a snob—she’s worried about her sick mother?

What if by assuming something that’s untrue, we’re not only losing out on experiences with people—we’re cheating them out of something new, challenging, or fun?

What if by assuming a group of people are all one way—we’re missing out on sharing wonderful friendships and life-changing moments?

What if whenever we're tempted to make an assumption, we took a moment to question it?

Dawn