Early in my writing career, I ached desperately for
success. Anxiety rattled. Fear of both failure and success stilted me. My
fingers wrapped around my goal of becoming a “real author” with a fervent
(painful) intensity.
My dream had become an idol.
I know this not only because of the stress it
spurred in me, but also because I often ignored my other responsibilities (like
my marriage) and especially because of this weird fear I had of telling God
about my writing (as if he didn’t know!). I never talked to him about it. I
didn’t pray for his help. A part of me
felt guilty for wanting this dream so badly, so, like Adam and Eve, I hid.
Eventually the activity that used to fulfill me
became a sour chore. When I sat down to write, a dread took over. I had to
force myself to do what my heart had always delighted in.
I’ve found this to be true in many areas of my life:
parenting, being a housewife, homeschooling, marriage. When I crave success in a certain area too intensely, the joy melts
away replaced by a sludge of irritable, drudging duty.
Five years ago, while I was watching TV with my
husband, my heart stopped. You can read the whole story in my book, Love
Like There’s No Tomorrow: How a Cardiac Arrest Brought My Heart to Life. I
died and through a team of glorious life-givers, God brought me back.
After I woke up from the sleep of death, friends, I didn’t care about my dreams. I didn’t
care if my books sold, if I was a good housekeeper, a perfect mom, the dutiful
wife. All those outward appearances meant nothing.
I just wanted my life back and not my former
stressed, busy life. I craved my simple life—to care for our home, the smell of
my sweet kids after a bath, my husband’s kiss.
As I mention in my book, “After I woke up, the world
where I still dwelt had somehow transformed to a glorious beauty.” I finally embraced the joy that was already
there.
I haven’t let go of this truth I almost didn’t get
to learn. It wasn’t wrong of me to dream of being a writer, a great mom, and
the other things—I just gripped them too tightly. I’ve now learned to pursue my
dreams not apart from the Lord, but walking step by step with him, always embracing the journey. What a
difference this made! As I seek him moment by moment, the goals are met—maybe
not as quickly as I hope for—but with a peaceful joy.
And I don’t miss out on the beauty he has made my
life.
Friends, never stop chasing those dreams, but
remember to enjoy the journey today. And remember, he loves you like there’s no
tomorrow.
Ocieanna
Ocieanna has a special offer for you. If you buy her
book this week, you will receive a mini adult coloring book FREE! Just e-mail
her a screenshot of your receipt or scan your printed receipt at o@ocieanna.com
Seattle,
WA: A few years
ago, Ocieanna Fleiss wife and work-at-home mother of four young children would
have described herself as overwhelmed, stressed, and focused on finishing her
to-do list. But when at age forty-two, a sudden cardiac arrest stopped her
heart, everything changed.
During
those quiet months of recovery, as she reflected on her life, a pattern arose.
Like a loving father, Christ has always walked her through childhood neglect,
miscarriages, the death of her parents, and even through her own death!
Amazed
by God’s loving hand in her life, Ocieanna overflowed with a desire to love in
a new, more profound way. Out of this desire, transforming truths gently came
to light: truths that changed her life forever and will show you how God can
weave everything in your life into His elaborate plan.
OCIEANNA FLEISS has written three historical novels
with Tricia Goyer in the best-selling Love Finds You series. She speaks at
churches, parenting groups, and writers conferences and teaches a Bible class
to homeschool junior high students. She penned a writing column for eight years
and contributes to the Seriously Write blog. She has also written for MOMSense, MOPS.org, Hearts at Home, Guideposts
for Kids, and CBA Marketplace. She
is a member of the Northwest Christian Writers Association and the Writers
View. Ocieanna makes her home in Seattle, Washington with her husband and four
kids.
You can learn more and connect with Ocieanna by
visiting these sites:
