The Parent-Child Relationship

My parents are coming for a visit.

When I tell people I haven’t seen them in almost three years, their eyes bug out, and their jaws drop. It makes me feel like a terrible daughter. I go into a long explanation of why a visit in either direction hasn’t taken place sooner. Life happens.

I called my mother this morning to firm up plans for picking them up at the airport. I could tell from past emails and her voice today that they’re excited to see us and the kids – who are now young adults, on their own.

My mom is a great cook and an excellent housekeeper. Her home is always spotless. I’ve grown up with the same tendency to keep a clean and organized home, and my daughters have followed in my footsteps.

Even at my age, I still feel the pressure to please my parents. I still need that, "good job" from them. So, I’ve cleaned more than normal and have planned healthy and delicious meals while they’re here. I've worked hard to make everything as perfect as it can be.

I’ve tried to never put any pressure on my daughters to perform, but I’ve recognized that they, too, in their twenties, still seek my approval. They need me in their cheering section, trusting that I’ll think they’re the best, no matter what the situation.

I just want them to know that I love them as they are, whether they succeed – or fail. They don’t have to be perfect. Ever.

And then there's the relationship with God, our Father. Don't we often try to win His approval by being “good?”

Sure - we should try to please Him in how we live, but we don’t have to impress Him. There’s a difference.

He loves us despite our failings and imperfections.

Just like a parent.

Dawn